Traveling can be stressful regardless of who you are or where you are going. There is so much to account for! How much money will I need? How will I get around? Where will I stay? What should I bring? It can be fairly daunting and I’m sure it’s scared off a potential traveler or two.
Now add to that list of concerns will I be safe traveling alone – as a woman — and see how many more fail to take the risk of heading out abroad.
This is an issue I have become all too familiar with over the past few years. For the majority of my life, I would have told you that my gender does not affect the decisions I make. I am an American woman with all of the freedoms and glories that entails. I can work, I can drive, I can dress the way I want. Bottom line: I can go where I want, when I want.
Err. Wrong.
Safety is a concern on everyone’s mind when venturing somewhere new and unknown. There are bad people everywhere, preying on both men and women. But I’ve found that traveling with ovaries in tow is a whole different ball of wax. There are things that women need to account for that people with penises do not.
It wasn’t until I was traveling through the Middle East, largely on my own, that I even took notice of my gender.
Suddenly, I could not dress however I wanted. I had to be conscious of how I acted, where I went and who I went with. I was not just another traveler. I was a woman traveler.
But if you’re like me and are determined to travel through the Middle East with your vagina, you can make it an incredibly enjoyable experience. If you know what to expect and how to protect yourself.
For starters, the question I am almost always asked is do you have to cover yourself because you are in an Arab country? No, ignoramus. It’s completely unnecessary for you to cover your hair or your face — unless, of course, you are in a holy place. If you choose to do so in public, that’s fine but no one will force you. I did choose to dress a little more modestly — I tucked away my cleavage and kept my legs and shoulders covered for the most part out of respect. In my opinion, it feels too close to mockery to imitate the way religious people dress if you don’t subscribe to the rest of their beliefs. Respecting their beliefs is different than counterfitting them.
You should also be prepared that men will look at you regardless of how you dress. They will down right gawk. Get used to it. While it is common courtesy here in the states for men to (try to) hide their stares, it is not so in the Middle East. It doesn’t mean they want to touch you, hurt you, or have sex with you. You are a foreigner. You most likely look, dress, and act differently than the women they are used to. In this country, we worry so much about being politically correct; we feel rude when we steal a glance at a woman in a hijab or a man in a gallibeyeh. They don’t. Middle Eastern men might even go so far as to say something to you about the way that you look. It is not uncommon to hear a man who has been staring at you mutter the word “jameela” or “beautiful.”
And this actually took me by surprise but men will actually come up to you and ask you to take a photo with them. Sometimes they don’t even have a camera of their own — they just want you to have a picture with them. It struck me as pretty bizarre at first, but so many of them did this that I stop caring. I just smiled and took the damn pictures. So stop panicking about whether or not you’re about to be raped, smile politely, and keep right on walking. You’ll be fine.
Now, while I honestly don’t believe that innocent stares pose any immediate danger to you, you should still be cautious of how you act. Smiling, giggling, or making it appear as though you are in any way interested in the attention you’re getting could very well get you into trouble. Being a flirtatious woman in America is no big deal. Ah, so what, right? You’re just friendly. In the Middle East, where women are widely expected to be respectful and demure, a little flirting can buy you a one way ticket to Stoptouchingmeistan. I’m not saying to be standoffish or cold, and for the love of all that is awesome, don’t be afraid to chat and make friends with the locals. You’ll ruin your experience that way. My advice is to just be very mindful of the messages you and your body are sending out.
A more specific word from the wise is be careful if you’re traveling alone and have to take a taxi. Know how far you’re going and what a good price is. Learn how to haggle and learn fast because they expect you to not understand. You don’t want to end up paying 50 bucks for a 5 minute drive downtown just because you didn’t know how much an Egyptian Pound is worth.
Add to that the fact that taxis are almost always driven by men. They’re not bad men, usually. Often, they’re friendly, polite and educated people that couldn’t find work doing anything else. They’ll talk your ear off if you show them that you’re friendly. But … and this is a big but … getting into a car with a strange man always poses a risk. There are men that will exploit the fact that you are more vulnerable being alone in a speeding vehicle. Unfortunately, I knew too many girls that fell prey to this and had their travels ruined because a taxi driver couldn’t keep his words (and sometimes his hands) to himself. If you want to be extra safe, don’t go it alone.
Another thing I’d advise — based on both personal experience and from talking with other female travelers — has nothing to do with men or even other women. It’s more of a hygienic issue. Pharmacies (and even doctors offices) are not what they are in western countries. And when you’re traveling in this part of the world, the reality of it is that you may not get to be as clean as you’d like to be. Showering every day may not be possible. Things can get … funky … that way. Just trust me on this one, you do not want to be stuck with a yeast infection on a four month long hike. You don’t want to have to explain what you need to a male pharmacist who doesn’t know the word “vagisil.” And you don’t want to have to apply some mysterious ointment to yourself while crossing your fingers that it works — or at the very least — doesn’t make things worse. So, heed my warning and pack wisely.
I can warn you of all the dangers and I can tell you where to go and what to do so you don’t find yourself on the 6 o’clock news. But really the most important thing I can tell you is don’t be afraid. Don’t bar yourself from enjoying your travels because you’re scared or because you think you have biological or societal limitations as a woman. Go to the Middle East! Catch a ride with a stranger, learn how to haggle in Arabic! Talk to people you normally wouldn’t and you’ll find that they’re just as eager to learn about your culture as you are of theirs. If you don’t, you’ll live to regret it.
Sure, you can play it safe. You can probably scratch a good time off the surface. Take a picture in front of the pyramids, eat koshari at an American-run Egyptian restaurant, hop on a tour bus and learn about how Arabs live from a British guide.
But risks often lead to the most worthwhile experiences … experiences that you can’t even imagine. Some of my fondest memories happened when I was unsure or downright scared. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have gotten into that naked Jordanian man’s car. And yes, I probably shouldn’t have followed a man I hardly knew across the Middle East with nothing but a pair of flip flops and my backpack. But alas, here I am … a stronger, smarter, slightly crazier woman who wouldn’t backtrack along any of those potentially dangerous paths I took for the safe road home.
While there are, of course, dangers to women that are independent of where you go, I’m fairly certain that if you’re a smart and cautious woman in any western country, you can fair pretty easily in any other western country. Visiting Paris, Sydney or Quebec will pose no real obstacle. I mean, obviously, don’t get stoned with strangers, don’t accept money for sex, don’t drink something if theres’s a little pill dissolving on the bottom … blah blah blah. If you don’t know these things by now, you should probably just stay home anyway. On second thought, no, go out. Enjoy your drink, sweetie. Survival of the fittest, right?
I’m confident that if you’re open minded and — more importantly — prepared, you can handle all of the abnormalities that other cultures will throw at you. It might be more difficult to be a woman traveler but if you ask me, it’s much more rewarding because you really have to fight for it. You have to want it pretty damn bad.
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